Robert Orben Quotes

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben

Funny, Health, Food

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
Robert Orben

Graduation, Success, Students

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben

Business, Work, Through

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Robert Orben

Funny, Children, Hand

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
Robert Orben

Nothing, Vacation

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben

Society, Life, Mother

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben

Computers, Human, Blame

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
Robert Orben

Politics, Feeling, Find

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben

Morning, Work, Through

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben

Love, Great, Girl

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben

True, Deep, Feeling

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben

Keep, Days, Losers

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Robert Orben

Problem, Ask, United

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben

Parenting, Home, Children

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben

Time, History, True

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben

Time, God, Saying

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben

Put, Place, Air

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben

Best, Girl, Heart

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben

Keep, Touch, Temptation

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Robert Orben

Government, Down, Place

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
Robert Orben

Success, Failure

If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben

Work, Laugh, Together

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben

Humor, Crisis, Fight

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Entertainer

Born: March 4, 1927

Links

Find on Amazon: Robert Orben

Cite this Page: Citation

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